JunkFood Fun.

Has your mother ever told you not to play with your food?

For me the answer is no, because a) I was an okay-well-behaved child and b) also an intensely paranoid kid; something about germs and touching and food did not mingle well for me.

However it is a different story with junkfood. As kids you are encouraged to play with your snacks. Whether it is to slap your friend with a Fruit by the Foot or to play make-believe as a fantastical zoo keeper (of your animal shaped crackers), junk food simply tasted better as toys.

I, myself, have fond memories with cigarette-shaped bubblegum (harmless really), Dunkaroos, Pop Rocks, and the Fun Dips.

Even as an adult, I find myself categorizing my Skittles by their colors and then later rearranging them into my latest and greatest artistic masterpiece before stuffing them down my gullet in gleeful frenzy.

However, the more 'adult' we get, the less playful our junkfood becomes. It's the kids that get the fruity flavored crystal Ring Pops while the mature population gets stuck with the less conspicuously fun Welches Fruit Snacks. Well, I have several suggestions that might revitalize the fun in the way we see common snacks.

Enjoyable Snacks to Play With in an Adult-like Manner:

1. Skittles

Ingredients: 2-3 regular packets of Skittles (more if you prefer), Creativity (art degree not required)

Serving Size: 1

Time: 5min - 10min

Instructions: Open the packets and just lay the candy out on a clean table. With washed hands, rearrange them by color (ROYGBIV, if you'd please). Then- release your inner artist spirit/demon, and go crazy! Make yourself a nice mosaic of colorful images. If you have leftover Skittles, feel free to munch on them while appraising your artwork.

Suggestions: I usually create a lone sunflower in an open grassfield. The purple could be used as pollen or bugs on the ground.

2. Pocky

Ingredients: 1 regular sized Pocky (chocolate), Mischief

Serving Size: 2

Time: Depends

Instructions: Open your Pocky packet, take a Pocky stick, and chew until you have a 1 cm of chocolate covered part left. Now you have yourself a fake match. Repeat until you have loads of fake matches. Collect them in a container if you'd like. Wait for an opportunity to take them out to show people.

Suggestions: Great for April Fooling a smoking friend when they ask for a light. They shouldn't be smoking anyway.

3. Oreos

Ingredients: 1 package of Oreo cookies, Steady Hands or Patience

Serving Size: 1 or more

Time: 20min - 30min

Instructions: This is a bit difficult to master but not impossible. Open your Oreos package and take apart every single Oreo cookie sandwich until you are left with double the amount of cookies. Using the cream as a building paste: stack the Oreos so that there is cookie at the bottom, cream, cookie, cream, cookie, cream, and you get the gist. You will most likely have a leaning tower of Oreos. Feel free to take pictures and show them off to a possibly disinterested friend.

Suggestions: None.

4. Dum-dums

Ingredients: A package of Dum-dums variety pack (120), Some honesty

Serving Size: 2-3

Time: 1hr and up

Instructions: No, no, do not bang these potential drum sticks on the table although it might be highly tempting. We are not children. We are adults and can't possibly afford nasty glares and/or annoyed faces.

Real Instructions: Do not unwrap the lollypops. Instead tug on the candy until the head pops off the stick. Do this for all candy. Throw away sticks. Clean your hands and begin unwrapping all the stick-less candy. Throw away wraps. You will have a pile of colorful orbs. Mix them up and place them on a clean surface. Your guessing game begins. Begin by pointing at a orb and guessing its flavor. Your friend will pick it up, eat it, and confirm whether you are correct or wrong. If correct you earn a point. Next, it is your friend's turn. Turn by turn, repeat until there is no more candy. Count points and name a winner!

Suggestions: A great drinking game. The game allows for an easy change/switch to a punishment or reward system.

5. Welches Fruit Snacks

Ingredients: A package of Welches Fruit Snacks, A flair for drama, Imagination

Serving Size: 1

Time: Depends

Instructions: Simply, lay the snacks out and individually pick it up the way you would the normal fruit. This might be hard for those with big hands- use fingers. For example, with the Welches grapes (the fruit snack), you'd pick them up by the stem with your pointer and thumb. Take a tiny bite off of an individual grape. The aim? Imagine you are a giant in a tiny land, eating tiny fruit.

Suggestions: You can stick your pinky out when daintily chewing on your fruit snack and pretend you are a classy fruit eating giant. Do not swallow the whole fruit- you might choke on it.

Delicacies Talkin',

SJ

Cream Puffs

A friend of mine, a self-proclaimed food connoisseur, had been nagging me for days (what seems like years) that I must try "Beard Papa's Cream Puffs" no matter what. What are "Beard Papa Cream Puffs"? Well, that was exactly what I asked her.

"The most wonderful cream puffs in the world!" was her prompt response.

Unperturbed by her descriptions ("Their shells are so fluffy"- "The cream is unbearably mindblowing!"- "All fresh and light like a cloud- only better"), I remained skeptical. How good could these cream puffs possibly be?

The only cream puffs I ate were the generic and intensely soggy ones at local bakeries. Could "Beard Papa's cream puffs" be any different?

Well, today, I decided I had to give Beard Papa's a try...and to my surprise I realized...

Four years ago, it was Krispy Kreme's original glazed donuts-

But today, Beard Papa's Cream Puffs reigns as King of all Baked Delicacies.

Like the day I first sank my teeth into a freshly baked, mouth-melting Krispy Kreme donut, biting into a vanilla cream puff from Beard Papa's was a mind-numbing epiphany. So this, was how cream puffs are supposed to taste like! I could not believe I've been eating tasteless cream puffs all my life, when such a thing existed right here in NYC!

The Beard Papa's cream puff that I ate, was approximately the size of my fist (perhaps a little smaller). Its shell was flaky and light in texture. The cream had been directly inserted to its bread shell right after my order; therefore the bread, encasing the cream remained crisp (akin to a croissant but less buttery) and un-soggy.

The vanilla filling itself was a very light cream filled with flavor yet not overly sweet. There had been a generous amount of cream in the cream puff, so for those who wish to try Beard Papa's- beware of inevitable cream spillage! Eating Beard Papa's cream puffs might have had been a messy experience but there were no complaints here- immediately after my first cream puff, I stood up to buy another.

I'm unsure if my description of Beard Papa's cream puffs did them any justice. But, I highly recommend them to anyone, young or old. These cream puffs have been masterfully created and it's unfortunate that they are not as popular in NY as they are in other parts of the U.S.

For those curious as to where they might be able to purchase these cream puffs you can look it up here. Until then, I'll be munching on these for a while. If you can think of any other baked delicacies that might top Beard Papa's- first try Beard Papa's out and be the judge yourself. If you are sure what you have is a winner (your thing over Beard Papa's), comment about it and I'll be the first on line to try out your challenge.

For now, Beard Papa's stays on my number one list of all good food. Nom, nom, nom.

Delicacies Talkin',

SJ