Brilliant UK TV Shows

Disclaimer: This post is not for the purposes of pitting US television against UK television. It's a simple recommendation of great shows that all happen to be from BBC. The super cool accents are just a bonus.

(via pixunlimited.co.uk)

There is something so refreshing and engaging about the following shows from the UK (BBC). Unique, realistic, with an emphasis on character development - the following are some of the greatest television shows I have ever watched in my 22 years of living.

I am a stone-faced Buddha when it comes to emotion. I only barely crack a smile at funny jokes, as it is rare for me to display any extreme emotion when watching the TV. However, the following list has had me laugh my entire jaw out, to which I quickly judge as especially good comedy. I adamantly recommend these shows to any fan of HBO or off-beat quirky humor or those with a healthy level of curiosity.





1. The Office (UK)

(via Hulu)

Tastes like: Cup of coffee, pint o' beer, sandwich

American counterpart: Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office (US)

Why it is brilliant: The Office (UK) portrays the doldrums of life through a small paper company (Wernham Hogg), where a self-delusional boss and his passive employees bring about insanity and hilarity into the workplace. The Office hits the nerve of the human experience: the realities of failure, jealousy, humiliation, and petty office drama, packaged to an off-beat humor. It is a sad but poetic analysis on everyday life but not without laughter. Ricky Gervais' subtle and brilliant comedy shines through the otherwise rainy and boring Slough, Berkshire.

Why others might miss out on it: It is not your usual sitcom humor. The pacing and mood imitates the office workplace (lots of grays, glazed eyes, and keyboard clacking). The stark difference between this and the US version (for those who enjoy Dunder Mifflin).

Laugh-out-loud meter: Lots of cringing followed by sudden frightening bursts of laughter.

The hook: The insufferable awkward boss David Brent and his philosophies on life ("If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in a jail" - David Brent Quotes). Oh, and of course the office romance.

Most memorable scene: [SPOILER] All throughout the series David Brent is a complete jackass, which isn't too terrible since that is what makes him the star in almost all of the funniest scenes. However, the most memorable (and saddest) scene is when Brent gets laid off (or made redundant). Here you see this detestable figure crumble; it is hard to watch Brent's pride finally break down when the only stable and worthy aspect of his life is taken away from him.





2. The Thick of It

(via pixunlimited.co.uk)

Tastes like: Hard liquor, espresso, and cigarettes

American counterpart: The West Wing gone horribly sour

Why it is brilliant: The Thick of It gives audiences a glimpse of the ugly side of UK politics (albeit fictitious). The charismatic Peter Capaldi gives an explosive performance as Malcolm Tucker the Director of Communications or in other words the government's spin doctor. As the government's "public image enforcer", Malcolm Tucker frantically runs about to sort out the mess caused by government officials. Focusing on the political environment of a clumsy Department of Social Affairs (and Citizenship), we see all sorts of characters: from the ambitious and morally deficient junior adviser to the passive and dimwitted social worker. The Thick of It is chock full of profanity, back-stabbery, high-stress intensity, colorful characters, and very funny consequences.

Why others might miss out on it: Cussing, cussing, cussing, and swearing.

Laugh-out-loud meter: OMFG-what-just-happened kind of laughter.

The hook: Take a closer look at the man in the middle in the photo above. The man is the embodiment of evil. Ruthless and efficient, Malcolm Tucker runs a tight ship. There is much hilarity that ensues when things do not go his way. It is entertaining to watch the venomous Malcolm Tucker flay his political cohorts with verbal abuse ("Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off" - Malcolm Tucker responding to a knock on his door). Stringing up f-bombs in a sentence becomes an art form in The Thick of It.

Most memorable scene: Tucker screaming at Hugh Abbott the hapless minister of social affairs to stop revealing certain information to the media. Further words cannot describe what happens here.





3. The IT Crowd

(via Web TV Wire)

Tastes like: Coffee, chips crisps, and soda

American counterpart: Big Bang Theory, Scrubs

Why it is brilliant: The IT Crowd follows the lives of three members of an under-appreciated IT department of a major global corporation. Two geeks, Roy and Moss, and one "normal" girl, Jen, face the challenges of social ineptitude, the advances of a skeevy boss, and general insanity. The IT Crowd's characters steal the show; the writing for each episode is top-notch, but the delivery of those lines, especially by Katherine Parkinson (Jen) and Matt Berry (The boss of Reynholm Industries), carries the show to its fullest comedic peak. Witty, smart, and an homage to the geek culture, the IT Crowd and its colorful cast are well developed and lovable in their own way- reminiscent to Bill Lawerence's ensemble in Scrubs. Each character of the IT Crowd has his or her own eccentric twitch but not without depth or growth. The believability of these characters far extends typical stereotypes and 2-dimensionality found in similar genres, making the IT Crowd incredibly worthwhile.

Why others might miss out on it: A very slow and admittedly unfunny first season. The canned laughter soundtrack.

Laugh out loud meter: Laugh-out-loud times one million. The IT Crowd is beyond your ordinary sitcom. It is a masterpiece.

The hook: The fun chemistry between characters: the interaction between the IT geeks Roy and Moss, and Jen, the oblivious IT manager. And the interaction between the utterly weird but charismatic boss Denholm and Jen.

Most memorable scene(s): [SPOILERS] Enduring hours of Jen showing off for winning Employee-of-the-Month, the boys decide to play a prank on Jen to teach her a lesson. They convince the totally technologically-impaired-and-ignorant Jen that a small black box is the Internet. Unexpected chaos ensues.

Another hilarious scene showcasing Jen's Internet knowledge.

When Jen opens the forbidden door to the forbidden room in the IT Department only to find that a Goth lives there. Totally unexpected but equally funny.





4. Sherlock

(via johnstoysoldiers)

Tastes like: Tea, biscuits, and perhaps red wine

American counterpart: House

Why it is brilliant: Sherlock portrays a very believable Sherlock Holmes in the 21st century. Moffat's Sherlock features amazing and inventive ways of editing and storytelling that keep audiences engaged with Sherlock's lightning fast thought process. Die-hard Sherlock Holmes fans may be delighted with Sherlock, as it is littered with faithful details, while newcomers revel at Sherlock's proficiency with smart phones and laptops. Placing London's favorite 19th century hero into modern times is so natural; one wonders why this has not been done before. Thankfully under the hands of the creative Moffat, audiences get to enjoy a superb retelling of Holmes. Both leads (Cumberbatch as Sherlock and Freeman as Watson) are a joy to watch as they carry an edgier interpretation to their characters. Sherlock as the danger-junkie and Freeman as the awestruck but level-headed companion, both these characters are presented with flaws and eccentricities.

Why others might miss out on it: Unevenness; a spectacular first episode followed by a rather mediocre second might put some people off. Luckily the third episode brings about a climactic end to the first series.

Laugh out loud meter: A sociopathic genius at work. Very funny. Lots of laughs.

The hook: Watching an epic mystery unravel under Holmes' ingenious deductive skills is fun but seeing Holmes struggle with a simple social interaction is even more entertaining.

Most memorable scene: [SPOILER] Without any further introductions, Sherlock deduces that Watson must be a war veteran from Afghanistan, with an alcoholic brother who, after an unhappy marriage, is divorced- all in a flash. Afterward, Sherlock proceeds to explain his deductions to an amazed Watson. Sherlock then badgers Watson if he had been 100% correct, concluding that his deductions usually contain some small error. Watson admits that he does have an alcoholic sibling with a failed marriage but she, is in fact, a lesbian. Watch the trailer.





5. The Apprentice (UK)

(via Tellymad)

Tastes like: Sausage (Series 6), croissant, champagne

American counterpart: The Apprentice (US)

Why it is brilliant: Smart, surprising, and intelligent. You have a handful of young business prospects and one job. Faced with thoughtful tasks, contestants need to survive this harsh job interview process for a successful career with Lord Sugar. There's an even more detailed ode of the brilliance that is The Apprentice, which you should take a look here.

Why others might miss out on it: Not a high-drama reality show in a sense that it lacks alcohol-sex-filled debauchery. Repetition with some of the tasks within each series.

Laugh out loud meter: Minimum; although watching Sugar's aides (a la "eyes and ears") become increasingly exasperated with some of the contestants and their foolhardy ways can cause a chuckle or two.

The hook: The few unbelievably self-delusional or outstanding contestants, innovative challenges, and a fun way to learn about business.

Most memorable scene: All the series had its highs especially with some outrageous contestants, however series 5 stands out due to James McQuillan, the funniest contender for the winning apprentice position. McQuillan made it all the way to the semi-finals (top five), but was fired during before the grand finale with two others. The most memorable scene was when James, tasked with selling birth water pools to pregnant women, describes to a potential buyer that the next model of the pool comes with a telly (TV) and ashtray.

Diva Talkin',
SJ

JunkFood Fun.

Has your mother ever told you not to play with your food?

For me the answer is no, because a) I was an okay-well-behaved child and b) also an intensely paranoid kid; something about germs and touching and food did not mingle well for me.

However it is a different story with junkfood. As kids you are encouraged to play with your snacks. Whether it is to slap your friend with a Fruit by the Foot or to play make-believe as a fantastical zoo keeper (of your animal shaped crackers), junk food simply tasted better as toys.

I, myself, have fond memories with cigarette-shaped bubblegum (harmless really), Dunkaroos, Pop Rocks, and the Fun Dips.

Even as an adult, I find myself categorizing my Skittles by their colors and then later rearranging them into my latest and greatest artistic masterpiece before stuffing them down my gullet in gleeful frenzy.

However, the more 'adult' we get, the less playful our junkfood becomes. It's the kids that get the fruity flavored crystal Ring Pops while the mature population gets stuck with the less conspicuously fun Welches Fruit Snacks. Well, I have several suggestions that might revitalize the fun in the way we see common snacks.

Enjoyable Snacks to Play With in an Adult-like Manner:

1. Skittles

Ingredients: 2-3 regular packets of Skittles (more if you prefer), Creativity (art degree not required)

Serving Size: 1

Time: 5min - 10min

Instructions: Open the packets and just lay the candy out on a clean table. With washed hands, rearrange them by color (ROYGBIV, if you'd please). Then- release your inner artist spirit/demon, and go crazy! Make yourself a nice mosaic of colorful images. If you have leftover Skittles, feel free to munch on them while appraising your artwork.

Suggestions: I usually create a lone sunflower in an open grassfield. The purple could be used as pollen or bugs on the ground.

2. Pocky

Ingredients: 1 regular sized Pocky (chocolate), Mischief

Serving Size: 2

Time: Depends

Instructions: Open your Pocky packet, take a Pocky stick, and chew until you have a 1 cm of chocolate covered part left. Now you have yourself a fake match. Repeat until you have loads of fake matches. Collect them in a container if you'd like. Wait for an opportunity to take them out to show people.

Suggestions: Great for April Fooling a smoking friend when they ask for a light. They shouldn't be smoking anyway.

3. Oreos

Ingredients: 1 package of Oreo cookies, Steady Hands or Patience

Serving Size: 1 or more

Time: 20min - 30min

Instructions: This is a bit difficult to master but not impossible. Open your Oreos package and take apart every single Oreo cookie sandwich until you are left with double the amount of cookies. Using the cream as a building paste: stack the Oreos so that there is cookie at the bottom, cream, cookie, cream, cookie, cream, and you get the gist. You will most likely have a leaning tower of Oreos. Feel free to take pictures and show them off to a possibly disinterested friend.

Suggestions: None.

4. Dum-dums

Ingredients: A package of Dum-dums variety pack (120), Some honesty

Serving Size: 2-3

Time: 1hr and up

Instructions: No, no, do not bang these potential drum sticks on the table although it might be highly tempting. We are not children. We are adults and can't possibly afford nasty glares and/or annoyed faces.

Real Instructions: Do not unwrap the lollypops. Instead tug on the candy until the head pops off the stick. Do this for all candy. Throw away sticks. Clean your hands and begin unwrapping all the stick-less candy. Throw away wraps. You will have a pile of colorful orbs. Mix them up and place them on a clean surface. Your guessing game begins. Begin by pointing at a orb and guessing its flavor. Your friend will pick it up, eat it, and confirm whether you are correct or wrong. If correct you earn a point. Next, it is your friend's turn. Turn by turn, repeat until there is no more candy. Count points and name a winner!

Suggestions: A great drinking game. The game allows for an easy change/switch to a punishment or reward system.

5. Welches Fruit Snacks

Ingredients: A package of Welches Fruit Snacks, A flair for drama, Imagination

Serving Size: 1

Time: Depends

Instructions: Simply, lay the snacks out and individually pick it up the way you would the normal fruit. This might be hard for those with big hands- use fingers. For example, with the Welches grapes (the fruit snack), you'd pick them up by the stem with your pointer and thumb. Take a tiny bite off of an individual grape. The aim? Imagine you are a giant in a tiny land, eating tiny fruit.

Suggestions: You can stick your pinky out when daintily chewing on your fruit snack and pretend you are a classy fruit eating giant. Do not swallow the whole fruit- you might choke on it.

Delicacies Talkin',

SJ

A Very Specific Request on Craigslist

An eloquent way of putting things...

Dilly-dally Talkin',

SJ

Movie Review: 71: Into the Fire (2010)

Introduction

I get especially excited when I see foreign films make it into the US "big screen." It somehow feels like rooting for the underdog. It's the contraflow of foreign films to the US (opposing the usual Hollywood flow to the rest of the world), which enriches the US cinemas with commendable films like Pan's Labyrinth (2006) and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000).

I just looked up the definition to "contraflow" to make sure I used it properly, and found this very cool picture:

A "contraflow" lane reversal traffic to evacuate Houston from Hurricane Rita (2005). (via Wikipedia) Looks like the apocalypse dunnit?

[Warning: May Contain Spoilers.]

And so when a friend discovered South Korean hit 71: Into the Fire (2010) playing in a local movie theater, I had to watch it.

Before Watching The Movie

I was excited because the synopsis seemed so intriguing: "71 South Korean high school students (volunteers) fight in war to defend South Korea from a formidable North Korean invasion." Oh and the "true story" part made it even more appealing. I expected a wave of emotions to be felt, as well as some powerful lessons to be learned.

During the Movie

First fifteen minutes of the film: Emotions were most certainly felt and powerful music most certainly heard; alas, the tragedies of war.

Middle of the film: Powerful music heard but emotions dried out by redundant war images.

Last fifteen minutes of the film: Oh, so this is what a war porno looks like. Lovely.

After the Movie

Thoughts on 71: Into the Fire (2010)

It's obvious the director (Lee Jae-Han) of 71 wanted to convey the atrocities of war but went about it rather poorly. Showing lots and lots of guns, lots and lots of gore, and lots and lots dead bodies is all fine; I'm okay with that. I'm sure that is how real warfare looks like. Saving Private Ryan did the same thing: smoke, blood, and tears. But Private Ryan had critical somethings that 71 does not: character...and characters.

Characters that looked felt, smelt, and tasted real. Private Ryan had audiences emotionally invest in these fictional people. Suddenly those piles upon piles of dead bodies actually meant something to us. When people died in Private Ryan you felt an overpowering sense of loss and grief. You personally felt the consequences of war right down your gut because you closely followed these individuals and their story no matter how it fit in the general schema of World War II.

71 on the other hand does the exact opposite. It takes real people and reduces them to 2D cardboard figurines in an elementary play set. 71 creates a good vs. evil story with a typical wide-eyed hero on one end and a typical wizen villan (who severely resembles King Leonidas from 300 btw, fyi, tysk) on the other. 71 sets up 2D puppets that either run into gunfire or shoot at those running into gunfire (I guess the title makes sense). This small but true heroic event becomes over-bloated as the crux of the overall outcome of the war; diminishing the heroism of the actual event to a Sunday morning cartoon.

There's no backstory as to why these 71 children want to fight in the war (I guess they were just all courageous or something); the one rebellious student with an actual motive (revenge) is your usual prototype bad guy with an abnormally large heart. 71 throws aside potential content that expands on personality and depth, and instead relies on the flashy horrors of warfare to carry the weight of its eye-rolling message: "War = bad" or as one character puts it "Mama, why does such a[n awful] thing as war exist?" (or something ridiculously similar to that).

The Pessimist: Yes, I'm furious. My expectations have fallen flat on their faces and have been repeatedly run over by a tank full of bad cliches. Yes, true-story-inspired movies are all embellished to an extent. But was the Hero vs. Villan Showdown gun duel at the end of the film necessary? Or the inevitable redemption sequence of the rebellious wayward student popping back out from nowhere to save the day? Was there any originality in 71? Was there any new or thought provoking messages that 71 put out on the vast table of war flicks?

[.oN .oN .oN .oN :rewsnA]

The Optimist: If I wanted to watch a mindless war movie, I'd watch this. There are plenty of bodies shot, liters of blood spillt, and loud war cries hollered. It's perfect. And also, if I wanted to watch a burning car, I'd YouTube "burning car" and watch a car burn for hours until it slowly reduces itself into bits of ashes.

More importantly, comparing the similarities between these two madmen becomes an enjoyable activity:

Bad Guy of 71... and

King Leonidas. His muscular Grecian twin.

P.S. I was going to finish off with something witty and biting like: "I'd put 71: Into the Fire (2010) into a fire" but I'm not going to even try. It's too easy and it's not worth it. (Just kidding! It's really hard! But still not worth it!)

Snarky end comment: Watching 71: Into the Fire (2010) may be an equal experience as to viewing a full season one marathon of Joey without the commercials.

Conclusion

What is most disappointing about 71: Into the Fire (2010) is that it is a typical Hollywood action clone. What about the diversity and inventive quality of the foreign film contraflow to the US media? It is easy to stereotype all foreign film as magical masterpieces that go against the grain when in fact there are loads of unsavory flicks out there. Such as this one, which revels in mainstream American action cinema without it retaining much of an identity. Or soul.

Overall Diva Scores:

71: Into the Fire: C-

Saving Private Ryan: A-

Joey: C-

Diva Talkin',

SJ

Seriously?!

I've been tinkering around the web a few days ago, searching for various interesting news (Google News I love you forever). I happened upon several interesting highlights but these two really gave me severe (but awesome) chills despite summer:

Supernatural Anime!

CW's popular TV show Supernatural, starring Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki, comes to Japan...in anime form! Reputable anime studio MadHouse (Death Note, Trigun, Black Lagoon) has picked up the series in a 22 episode format delineating the lives and exploits of the Winchester brothers to the Japanese population. The anime Supernatural is expected to release in DVD/BluRay in January 12 and April 6, 2011. (via animenewsnetwork)

animationized to....

this, which looks magnificent.

To view the trailer go to Japan's WB website. The trailer actually looks amazing. I'm loving the art style of the anime. While promising, Supernatural the Anime comes out in 2011, so we (the USA population) probably won't see it until 2020.

Ho-hum, and the other news....

Jersey Shore Videogame Extravaganza!

MTV has recently released Jersey Shore just in time for the summer- the Jersey Shore videogame that is. Featuring an array of your favorite sun-tanned cast members, the Jersey Shore videogame is a fighting game on Facebook that lets you battle it out with your friends, Jersey Shore style. The game is still in beta and lacks a complex fighting system; but watching a cartoonish mini-version of "The Situation" spraying himself with "Bro's glo" in order to replenish health is quite a sight to behold.

Facebook is useful for lots of things. You can use it to interact with friends, update your status (real time), and play games that blow your mind. One of which is the Jersey Shore Facebook game. By no means do you control the characters in this 2D fighting game. All you do is click at the various items (that you've purchased beforehand) to either throw at your opponents (to kill their heath points) or heal yourself. At the end of the day, it comes down to who has the best items to survive the onslaught of pure Jersey Shore madness.

The items themselves are hilarious and the customization of your character (one of the Jersey Shore avatars) are some things to look forward to...once you can afford it with the high in-game price.

Diva Talkin',

SJ

Things People Love That I Hate.

Disclaimer: All of the statements below are my opinions whether they should offend or not- that's really not my problem. Some people like apples, some like oranges. Likewise some people hate kiwis, some hate watermelons. What am I trying to say? I really don't know, but- let's respect one another's thoughts. With that said, the following list feature things that people generally love. I tried to avoid controversial objects such as tomatoes or religion, where there's a strong divisive opinion on the matter.

1. Gladiator shoes

Category: fashion

Primary Reason: ugliness

Level of Hatred: Slightly above average (hatred has been diminishing over time)

Hate Level Equivalent: a pile of unwashed dishes and sweating after taking a shower

Distracting the Hate: smaller classier gladiator-inspired sandals/shoes such as this or that.

I admit, I wasn't in love with them when I first laid my eyes on them. First impression word? Er- Primitive. However, as years went by and the gladiator fad still hasn't simmered down- I wondered...should...I myself, invest....in gladiators?

Being the shameless weak-willed follower that I am, I bought myself a pair of Steve Madden black gladiators, which I admit were very easy on the eyes. These sandals are less buckles and more of the stylishly braided cords-type. Gladiators have become something like a timid but ugly dog, which only becomes cuter and cuter as the day goes on (mostly because of its shy personality); until finally you forget why it was so ugly in the first place when it is so obviously adorable.

However, this happy feeling instantly evaporates whenever I see those impossibly crazy knee-high gladiators- faithful and true to the original ancient Roman footwear. And then my hatred level steadily rises against all gladiators sandals, uneven foot tans, mindless fashion trenders, and Russell Crowe.

2. Avatar (2009)

Category: movie

Primary Reason: the hype

Level of Hatred: a good amount of hate (sluggishly increasing)

Hate Level Equivalent: mosquitoes, wet socks, and diarrhea

Distracting the Hate: inspiring sci-fi movie from the same year: Moon (2009)

Where to begin? Just thinking about the movie catalyzes an explosion of haterade venom. The movie is equivalent to a bad chick flick or a mindless Hollywood action movie (or both). And if I just based my hatred on the movie's content; I'd rather be passive/nonchalant about it. It's not that I hate the movie so much as I hate the people who rave about it, which then causes a feeling of indirect hatred towards James Cameron and his success with his stupid Avatar. I don't understand the "achievement" and "grand adventure" of this movie. Avatar is colorful and pretty and might have something to say- but ground-breakingly imaginative? Let's be reasonable people. Avatar is a "B" movie. Calling it a masterpiece is ludicrous.

3. Licorice Candy (Twizzlers)

Category: candy

Primary Reason: taste

Level of Hatred: Immense (has remained so since childhood trauma)

Hatred Level Equivalent: Adolf Hitler, the iceberg that sank the Titanic, and cancer

Distracting the Hate: instead of licorice, perhaps Willy Wonka's laffy taffy rope?

When I was a child I had the misfortune of biting onto one of these things and promptly spitting it back out at the fool who had offered it to me. It had been a traumatically repulsive taste that invaded the mouth as well as the nostrils. Looking up "licorice," I've found out it's an actual herb used for medicinal purposes. This made perfect sense as the licorice candy tasted similar to cough medicine from what I remember. It's like making Pepto-bismol lollipops and Robitussin flavored chewing gum. I don't understand why someone thought to make a candy out of a medicinal herb, but to each his or her own, I guess.

4. Seals (Fully Grown and Hairless Variety)

Category: animals

Primary Reason: hurts the eyes

Level of Hatred: mild irritation

Hatred Level Equivalent: an empty fridge, sunburn, and runny nose

Distracting the Hate: cute fuzzy baby white seals are way too adorable to ignore.

I know I'm going to get a lot of hate for this but I never understood why people adore seals. They're kind of gross. The fuzzy white baby seals up in Antartica I can handle and understand why you might want to pick one up and squeeze it as long as possible. But usually, I cringe whenever "seals" come up in a conversation (which comes up more often than you think) because they look slimy and frightening. I don't know what to make of them. To me, they look like obese fish (tail and fin) but with mammalian features (nose, face, fat).

?!?! It's like a creature in mid-process of evolution.

5. Sex and the City

Category: TV show, movies

Primary Reason: not my cup of tea

Level of Hatred: fairly low but present

Hatred Level Equivalent: a long waiting line, a broken airconditioner, and misplaced key

Distracting the Hate: Desperate Housewives featuring the lives of fun, strong, and interesting women.

Fairly uninteresting show. Although I could understand its appeal to its target audience (city women with careers). But frankly I never loved it like my friends have. The drama of the show might catch my attention at times but overall the show is shallow, unfunny, uninspiring, and seems to think it's making some poignant thoughts on feminism, society, sex and urban life. Hmm, not really.

6. Zombies/The apocalypse-zombie infestation

Category: monsters

Primary Reason: sensitive gag reflexes

Level of Hatred: High

Hatred Level Equivalent: high beaming asshole drivers, unemployment, and hospital bills

Distracting the Hate: Frankenstein. He's semi-zombie but he's bumbly, naive, and ultimately a sad misunderstood monster.

I put these pictures up because they were fairly harmless and made me least want to gag. It's more from fear than hate, I'll admit.

7. Full Breakfast

Category: meal

Primary Reason: weak stomach

Level of Hatred: average

Hatred Level Equivalent: heartburn, hangover, and allergies

Distracting the Hate: replacing a heavy breakfast with a light coffee/milk and toast or just waiting for lunch.

My stomach cannot handle (as hinted with #7); especially in the mornings. Hence my natural repulsion from McDonalds. And bacon. Oh god.

8. Marshmallows

Category: candy

Primary Reason: Garcia effect/taste aversion

Level of Hatred: above average

Hatred Level Equivalent: cellphones ringing during movie, pimple before an event, and boring class

Distracting the Hate: smores, hot chocolate, marshmallows melted in pie or other baked products.

Here's the story: I grew up with a Nutritionist mother. This meant no sweets, candy, chips, soda, or anything dessert-ish in the house. The sweetest treat I was allowed as a kid would have been Honey Nut Cheerios and even that was hard to come by. In kindergarten, when a friend shared Fruit Rollups with me, I didn't even know to go about eating it. I remember eating the Fruit Rollup with the plastic wrap still on it.

It was tragic and I could go on and on.

Anyway, one day, a kid brought a bag of marshmallows to class one day and shared it with the whole class. It was amazing. The best thing I've ever tasted since the plastic covered Fruit Rollup. It was sugar that looked like fluffy clouds. I had to have more. MORE. And so I promptly stuffed my face with it until I felt ill and threw it all up. True story.

Ever since then, I have an extremely strong taste aversion to marshmallows (the taste, texture, etc.). Now, the only way I can digest a marshmallow is to melt it until it becomes liquid or some undistinguishable form (usually in hot choco or in smores).

-----

Since this post makes me seem like a real uncool hater, I'll come up with a post of "Things People Hate That I Love" to show I have heart. I thought this would be an interesting topic to divulge in but I'm realizing this kinda alienates me from society.

...But I'm sure one or two things in the list up there might resonate with some readers out there....amirite? amirite?

Diva Talkin',

SJ

I am an 'Apprentice' Fan

The Apprentice (US &UK) is a constant favorite and guilty pleasure when it comes to reality TV shows. The show itself is insanely entertaining, while subtly educational. Perhaps one of the more "real" shows out of all other reality shows out there in the vast emptiness that is cable television (cough The Hills cough)- The Apprentice features intelligent contestants in the business arena vying for the ultimate job in NYC (The UK version- London). The candidates must be smart, unique, independent, cooperative, and ruthless in this competitive process to be number one.

The Apprentice has inspired me in many ways, such as garnering my interest in business or causing me to obsessively abuse the show's tagline: "You're fired!" as means to annoy family and friends. The Apprentice is a great show- but there are major differences between the US and UK versions that shed light on some strengths and weaknesses in comparison to the other.

And with that said: I rather enjoy the UK version much better.

Why UK version of the The Apprentice "trumps" the US version:

1. Lord Sugar (The UK counterpart to Trump) is much more rational and coherent in making decisions than Trump (who often times fires people based on whim and the mood of the day).

2. The beautiful English/Irish/Scottish/Welsh/etc. accents- oh God even the losers of the show sound like winners

3. The UK captures a grittier and realistic tone to the show, while the US show is very Americanish. Meaning: flashy, quick cuts, dramatic edits, abrupt zoom-ins, and the (bom chika wowwowwwwuh) like...Hence, veeezah veee, thus- the UK version is in a pure aesthetic sense seemingly "real-er."

Some notable differences between the UK and US versions (if you must know):

1. Most of the time, Americans fight for the Project Manager (aka group leader) position; their UK counterparts mostly shy away from this stressful responsibility.

1a. The influencing factor being: if you are the PM of a winning task you will be exempt from fireage on the next task (US). Lord Sugar does not follow Trump's risk-reward schema: PMs are still vulnerable and responsible for the next week's task.

2. UK version highlights that the show is a JOB INTERVIEW PROCESS. US version highlights WHO WILL STAND ABOVE THE REST AND WIN THAT 100,000 SALARY. I suppose when it all comes down to it, the prize and the conclusion are all the "same."

I highly recommend both shows (both US and UK versions) for anyone (interested in business or not) because it's fun, genuinely educational, and sometimes hilariously entertaining (stress + cameras + Lord Sugar + stress = loads upon loads of crying men and women). For those who don't know anything about the show: TV.com is a wonderful source for all things Apprentice.

You can watch episodes on YouTube. Or perhaps Hulu; in the near future.

Spin-Off Showdown: Celebrity Apprentice vs. Junior Apprentice

That aside, what do I think about Celebrity Apprentice (US)? A sort of spin-off show dedicated to celebrities (replacing the common persons) and charities (replacing the top $100,000 job)? At first I was defiant about it and had a tiny but explosive tantrum to Trump's stupid "creative" twist to the original series.

However, after closely following Celebrity Apprentice these past few years, I realize- it is not so bad (despite being 2 hours long every episode- aka a real draaaaaag). Being that I expected something more akin to a horrific traffic pile up, Celebrity Apprentice is... alright. The main driving factor to Celebrity Apprentice's "fun" is that the contestants are celebrities, already well-accomplished human beings. AKA they do not seem as desperate nor do not suck up to Trump as hard as the average Joe/Jill. But that does not mean all is well. Tempers flare. Overblown egos clash. And eventually you see celebrities acting like all of us: human beings that are bossy, eccentric, clueless, prideful, etc.

It's fun to see the likes of Sharon Osbourne utilizing her star-status to garner paparazzi support as a free ticket in obtaining high quality photos for promos. It's fun to see huge tantrums thrown (Melissa Rivers) at cameras/producers/etc. However, Celebrity Apprentice has become much more of a spectacle, less educational for aspiring viewers. Celebrity contestants use their star power/popularity more so than their talents to rake in the cash (although charity fundraising bulldog Holly Peete is something else!). Even Trump and his advisors (his kids) seem entertained by their group of celebrities running around like headless chickens- unused to the nitty gritty harsh reality of the business world.

The Junior Apprentice (UK) is a spin off series (season 1 has just ended) featuring kids as contestants. When I first heard of this concept my immediate reaction was: "WTF? What do kids know of business?" I must admit, I'm highly ashamed and have become incredibly humbled by my watching experience of the Junior Apprentice. Teenagers all over Britain (some who seem at the verge of puberty), are selected by their business ambitions/accomplishments to compete for the ultimate prize fund that will support a future business endeavor.

After episode 1 (6 episodes in total), I was immediately blown away by how accomplished, well-rounded, coherent, and intelligent these kids were. Some of them, (younger than 17 years old!), already had noteworthy businesses prior to the show. I've learned so much from these kids who performed fantastically in every project assigned to them and although there is the usual drama (mature kids are still kids after all), Lord Sugar's intentions spreading interest in business to the younger generation have completely shined through with each fun-filled episode.

Junior Apprentice = Hilarious, fun, and intelligent

I highly recommend any Apprentice fan to watch the Junior Apprentice (available on Youtube as of now). It's just fascinating to see business prodigies face off while using their wiles and wits to remain ahead. Kids think differently than adults and this twist makes this Apprentice series so awesome to watch.

Lord Sugar, yes is much easier on the kids (than on the adult prospects), but that is because he acts as a teacher figure rather than a boss figure. I loved every minute of the Junior Apprentice.

Overall Diva Scores

The Apprentice (US): A-

The Apprentice (UK): A

Celebrity Apprentice (US): C+

The Junior Apprentice (UK): A+

Diva Talkin',

SJ

Cream Puffs

A friend of mine, a self-proclaimed food connoisseur, had been nagging me for days (what seems like years) that I must try "Beard Papa's Cream Puffs" no matter what. What are "Beard Papa Cream Puffs"? Well, that was exactly what I asked her.

"The most wonderful cream puffs in the world!" was her prompt response.

Unperturbed by her descriptions ("Their shells are so fluffy"- "The cream is unbearably mindblowing!"- "All fresh and light like a cloud- only better"), I remained skeptical. How good could these cream puffs possibly be?

The only cream puffs I ate were the generic and intensely soggy ones at local bakeries. Could "Beard Papa's cream puffs" be any different?

Well, today, I decided I had to give Beard Papa's a try...and to my surprise I realized...

Four years ago, it was Krispy Kreme's original glazed donuts-

But today, Beard Papa's Cream Puffs reigns as King of all Baked Delicacies.

Like the day I first sank my teeth into a freshly baked, mouth-melting Krispy Kreme donut, biting into a vanilla cream puff from Beard Papa's was a mind-numbing epiphany. So this, was how cream puffs are supposed to taste like! I could not believe I've been eating tasteless cream puffs all my life, when such a thing existed right here in NYC!

The Beard Papa's cream puff that I ate, was approximately the size of my fist (perhaps a little smaller). Its shell was flaky and light in texture. The cream had been directly inserted to its bread shell right after my order; therefore the bread, encasing the cream remained crisp (akin to a croissant but less buttery) and un-soggy.

The vanilla filling itself was a very light cream filled with flavor yet not overly sweet. There had been a generous amount of cream in the cream puff, so for those who wish to try Beard Papa's- beware of inevitable cream spillage! Eating Beard Papa's cream puffs might have had been a messy experience but there were no complaints here- immediately after my first cream puff, I stood up to buy another.

I'm unsure if my description of Beard Papa's cream puffs did them any justice. But, I highly recommend them to anyone, young or old. These cream puffs have been masterfully created and it's unfortunate that they are not as popular in NY as they are in other parts of the U.S.

For those curious as to where they might be able to purchase these cream puffs you can look it up here. Until then, I'll be munching on these for a while. If you can think of any other baked delicacies that might top Beard Papa's- first try Beard Papa's out and be the judge yourself. If you are sure what you have is a winner (your thing over Beard Papa's), comment about it and I'll be the first on line to try out your challenge.

For now, Beard Papa's stays on my number one list of all good food. Nom, nom, nom.

Delicacies Talkin',

SJ

Possible and Rather Dreary Future of Writing

XX/XX/2008, at the Library....

Me: How do you spell "existentialism"?

Friend: Hmmmm..."E"...."X".... (waves and wiggles fingers in the air)

Me: Wait, stop, what are you doing?

Friend: (ignores me)..."I"...."S" (continues to do a sort of horizontal 'spirit fingers-' movement in the air)

Me: STOP THAT

Friend: What? Didn't you want to know how to spell the word?

Me: Yes but what are you doing?

Friend: (stares at her now frozen fingers in mid-air)

Me: Well?

Friend: (matter-of-factly) Typing

Me: I don't get it

Friend: You know how kids at spelling bees write out the letters of a word in the palm of their hands in order to remember how to spell it?

Me:...yes?

Friend: Well typing it out helps me remember the letters.

Me: (incredibly interested) ...how very interesting...

I'd like to call it phantom typing. It is an interesting practice used by tech-savvy kids who now wiggle their fingers in the air in order to recall letters and words. I attribute this phenomenon to laptops, computers, schools, and well, the Internet/Digital expansion.

Writing Today

Physical writing with pen and paper has now become a major hassle. It's too slow, it's too messy, and most of all, writing kinda hurts. This is true. After attempting to take notes in one of my professor's insanely fast PowerPoint presentations, my hand felt contorted, mangled, and bruised beyond healing. My hand was simply NOT used to writing anymore. Writing felt unnatural.

Fingers are meant to push buttons (such as typing on keyboards or pushing an elevator button).

Fingers are not meant to hold a pen and press out small intricate markings on white paper. Hence the unwanted middle finger callouses. Writing has now become an archaic and on-the-verge-of-becoming-obsolete practice. And I have to say, I welcome this change and progress towards a penless society.

Imagine, me actually writing this blog by hand. I can already see the results of this hypothetical but horrific attempt: an enormous whiteout stain on my forehead, bleeding pen marks, ripped out sheets of paper, and an unrecognizable disfigured right hand.

I've just repressed the urge to shiver.

Why Writing Might Linger Despite Impending Doom

1. People who do math (As I'm typing, a young man next to me is furiously doing his math homework- he has brought this particular group of 'writers' to my attention)

2. Short hand writing (Such as taking down a phone number etc.)

3. Artists, Traditionalists, and People who Like to Write (pshawww but seriously, some people love writing)

4. Notebook/Memo pad industries won't just roll over and give up (I can already see their "Writing is Cool" marketing campaign)

5. As well as other related industries that advocate writing:

Whiteout companies

Finger cushion companies

Chalk and Chalkboard companies

Cute pen/pencil holder companies

Whiteboard companies

A Simple Evolution Schema Depicting Writing Change

Writing -> Typewriters -> Computer Keyboards -> Touchscreen

Even in the mathematical world where writing is imperative in solving formulas -> electronic calculators have now eliminated the need to write out math problems

A Dramatic Speculation From Observing the "Phantom Typing" Phenomenon

Writing will become extinct once the tech savvy children grow up and teachers figure out how to edit student papers on Microsoft Word. Pens will become ancient relics to our "writing culture" past and the idea of calligraphy will become a myth. Rich people will pay thousands of dollars for handwritten documents because writing will dissolve from ritual to art.

In all this dramatic and incredibly far-sighted prediction: will READING (or words, letters, vocabulary) also become obsolete?

NO. Not necessarily, we still need codes, cues, signs, and print messages in our everyday lives: road signs, distinguishing name cards, and other representations of things in life. I believe books are still relevant in our future although other forms of media will play greater roles in educating society.

A Case For the Other Side

For those still in shock from all the outrageous things I've been saying so far, well, this has all been extreme "what-if" Dramatic Talk. But in all seriousness, I believe writing will undoubtedly evolve into something completely different. With the advent of touch screens and of Palm Pilots, there is a strong suggestion that handwriting may veer towards an incredibly detailed motion capture/electronic touch screen-esque path.

Although typing seems like the likely future in replacing handwriting, I believe that we as humans still crave to insert personality in our work. We won't be satisfied with point-12 font Times New Romans as a representation of our written creation. As there are different handwritings and signatures out there that add flair and close precision in directly representing our work, in terms of psychology, we want to write things down as ways to express ourselves.

Changing the font to Comic San might hint playfulness, however it does not fully capture the personal touch: flaws and all.

I do believe that writing is on a decline, with all the computer technology out there, hand writing has certainly become a chore for those who can type faster than write. I find it fascinating that there is a whole tradition and culture to writing now due to these events. Handwritten notes signify intimacy and concern:

- A company that sends you a handwritten note of apology is more likely to receive a positive response, no?

- Would you rather get a printed out phone number or a nervously scrawled number from your crush who seems desperate to ask you out?

As print books become electronically stored, all forms of media have now moved online, and the general craziness catalyzed by the digital movement- physically writing papers seems like an archaic practice. This might be coming from a college graduate bias standpoint (who has spent the last four years typing out research papers and typing notes) however nowadays children's toys emulate the iPad and laptop so much so that the future of writing comes into question.

Will writing exist thousands of years later? How will it change? Are we at the cusp of change?

Hmmmm... I wonder

Dramatic Talkin',

SJ